- God forbid you go for a walk, someone might jump out of the bushes and attack. Oh, and there's no air-conditioning out there!
- I'm afraid to have the windows open. I might sweat.
- Talking to your enemies means that you are justifying their opinions. I repeat. Never ever talk to your enemies unless they have told you beforehand that they will agree with you!
- Wanting everyone to have access to healthcare just might mean you are a socialist, and we must fear socialists. Be careful. Those socialists also want people to have better options for education. Educating people might mean that they aren't fearful anymore!
- No kidding, there is a very real threat of riding your bike these days. Seems as though the silly cars just don't want to stop for anyone.
- I need five assault weapons in my home for fear that someone might harm me.
- I also need five cars to run over all those people on bikes ---bikes scare me.
- Tarantulas are lurking in dark places.
- Insects, especially bees, just want to attack me. That's all they care about is attacking me! I'll just have to spray them with every harmful chemical on earth to rid it of those pesky bees. What good are they anyway?
- Mexican people are trying to take all our jobs. I was hoping I could work for $20 a day in the hot-ass Arizona sun, and now I can't.
- Global warming is a real threat, but I'm not going to do anything about it just yet. I want to wait until things get really ugly. Then we'll have a lot more things to be terrified about.
- Every person that looks different than me must be evil. If your religion is not the same as mine, you are probably a terrorist. Especially if you are in an airport, then you must be a terrorist.
- Tap water is highly toxic, I would rather drink from plastic bottles with water that costs $6 a gallon. It's much better becuase it comes from half way around the world and will give me a healthy daily dose of bisphenol A. (I had a hard time pronouncing that so it must be good for me.)
- Clowns with painted smiles are very scarey. They make me want to run and hide under the covers.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Fears, real or perceived, are crippling our society. Good people are out there, I know many of them. But it seems that these days we are fed a never ending stream of terrifying problems and despicable acts. And what happens? We all know. Good people fail to act; good deeds are left undone; we end up fearing our neighbors; we end up fearing strangers; we end up fearing fear itself. Just in case you need help, I have created a list of possible things you might want to fear or may already fear (disclaimer: there is a twist of sarcasm here). I want you to be prepared in case the Boogyman comes.