I'm back

Hi everyone. It's been so long and now this blogland seems foreign to me. The break from blogging was much needed. I miss all of you, don't get that wrong, but this past month and a half has been a period of immense change and it has thrown me for a loop. It's been a cycle of big highs and big lows and even some in between. There are many, many changes happening in my life and with them I am coping, learning, growing. I'm also slowly learning to trust in the universe...that everything will be o.k. I've had the strangest feeling lately and I can't completely describe it...like riding on a bike with a blindfold in a hilly, foreign town with no map. But, I suppose that is life!

The trip to California (and Michigan in between) was incredibly fun and healing. It was wonderful to be around family again. A big dose of my mom and dad is exactly what I need when the going gets rough. In Califnornia (with mom) we managed to see so much I still can't even believe it. I went to San Francisco, Santa Cruz, Monterey, Carmel, Lake Tahoe, Sausilito, and Sacramento. We drove up the 1 from Big Sur to Half Moon Bay (so insanely beautiful that I still can't get over it.)

Natural Bridges State Beach near Santa Cruz

Often, when my mom and I have time together, she is still working or at least has her head is in work. She's very successful, dedicated, and her work requires a lot of flexibility. This time, however, things were a little slower for her which allowed her to really relax and enjoy herself...something I haven't seen her able to do in so long. I'm so glad we were able to spend that time together. I think it was important for both of us and it's a time I will cherish forever.

Back in Michigan with my dad, we did a lot of relaxing...something that is always nice at his place. He is fortunate to live on a lake so many of our activities focus around water. My dad is a creative, fun, social person and we always have a great time together. We went sailing one night and it was the most perfect night, a subtle breeze and calm waters just before dusk. On the way back to the dock the wind gently pushed us back home. It was so relaxing that my dad fell asleep while driving our little sunfish.

View from the boat on the lake at my dad's

Family is a wonderful gift and I feel so fortunate to have one as great as my own. I'm not sure how much I will be on here...I'm still trying to regain my energy and enthusiasm. But when I do, I'd love to share some of my experiences with you. And if you'd like, you can take a look at my flickr stream to see some of the pictures from my trip. Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

What is evil?

I don't consider myself a religious person, but I do think I am spiritual. I try to be very open minded about a greater existence because I think that we have such limited comprehension of our universe and beyond. This video gave me chills; I have to say I never really thought of it that way but it makes so much sense. Good ole' Albert.

Note: I don't endorse this organization or the teaching of any specific religion in schools.

Everybody needs more love...

I just read the most meaningful post by Stefani over at Blue Yonder. I'm really at a loss for words right now (not uncommon) but you must stop over and read it for yourself. There is nothing I could say that would be nearly as beautiful.

Here's a little piece of the whole story for starters:

"Well I was THIS close to losing it all together and laying on the horn. I mean seriously, the light was green, my baby was about to explode and there he was just taking in the scenery! But then I had the oddest thought - that bald headed man was once some mother's bald headed baby....

...Every now and again I see his shiny head and it reminds me... we are all someone's child. Under all the hair, we are all bald. Each one of us is just trying to make our way. Each one of us falters sometimes. Each one of us needs a little grace"

photo by Amelia PS

Happiness is a choice

I truly believe this. There are people with nothing that are incredibly happy and people with everything that are miserable. I choose happiness...do you?

Feel free to use this image how ever you want...I made it for you :)

A few things I am thankful for...

• The sweet smell of orange blossoms that fills the air in Tucson this time of year. This must be what heaven smells like.
• Laundry machines - I can't imagine how rough it must have been to do all your laundry by hand.
• Creative people.
• Kind people.
• Love.
• Mountains that turn pink at sunset.
• Basil and rosemary.
• Strawberries and musk melon.
  
• The amusing Gambel quail in my backyard.
• Sunshine and bright red flowers.

What do you want to do for the rest of your life?

Graduation day is quickly approaching and what better time to contemplate my career. Well, the lovely Jamie at Paint Til You Faint tagged me quite a while ago on this meme...the question - what are your top 7 dream jobs?

To answer this, let me first explain. My ideal life is to not work something I consider a "job" and certainly not one thing for the rest of my life. I know, that's the dream of many and somewhat cliche. However, I feel like the direction I am heading in will be somewhat open. I might still work for a particular office, but am hopeful that it will be a place that dabbles in a variety of pursuits. I'm also the type of person that can't often sit still...I guess there is a lot of creative energy pent up inside me. Overall, I see myself as a designer, and that will take hold in a variety of forms.

Even still, there are some specific titles I have often dreamed about...

1. Landscape architect - For all the faults of the "working world" I still feel like this is such an amazing profession. For someone who gets bored doing the same thing over and over again, this field offers so much versatility. In what other profession can you design public spaces, work in urban design, envision the landscape, use a palette of plants, be a champion for the environment, draw and render, and create? You can work in as detailed a space as someone's backyard or create a plan for an entire region of the country. I have one friend who just graduated and moved to Colorado to work for the forest service as the NEPA ski team coordinator. Yes, she actually gets to ski all day for her job.

2. Bed and Breakfast Owner - This is something I can quite possibly see myself doing someday (when I've saved up a huge sum of money.) I want to have a rustic modern bed and breakfast in a town like Prescott, Arizona. I'll have an awesome kitchen to make delicious food that I grow in my garden. And most definitely an art and landscape studio and gallery space.

3. Professional artist and illustrator- not sure I could ever make a living at this, but will definitely pursue art my entire life regardless. It makes me happy :)

4. Graphic designer - the only drawback to this job would be sitting at a computer all day...at least with Landscape architecture you can take some breaks from the computer.

5. Vegetarian food critic - I like to eat! (But I eat terribly slow so I might have to work long hours ;-P )

6. Master Gardener - I love plants and being outside. I'm wondering if people can make a living at this, but if you can, I think it would be fabulous.

7. Marine biologist - the kind that gets to spend all day at the ocean's edge.

What about you? I'm not going to tag anyone, but I would love to hear what your dream jobs are!

This is paragraph describes too well one of my worst nightmares, especially as I look for a job upon graduation. It's amazing how hard it is to find a truly nice working environment. I just want operable windows, is that too much to ask?

"Now everything seems to have changed. The things I do (by myself or with my companions) seem to have changed and the way they are done also seems to have changed because, goodbye bright blue Planet, goodbye melodious seasons, goodbye stones, dust, leaves, ponds, and dragon flies, goodbye boiling-hot days, dead dogs by the roadside, shadows in the wood like prehistoric dragons, goodbye Planet, by now I feel as if I do the things I do sitting in a bunker of damp artificial light and conditioned air, sitting at this white laminate table, sitting in this silver plastic chair, captain of a spaceship traveling at thousands of miles an hour, squashed against this seat — immobile in the sky."

If you would like to read all of this wonderful story, please visit Design Observer to read the writing by Ettore Sottsass.

I found this over at the Wish Jar. One of my favorite blogs done by Keri Smith, one of the most creative people I have come across. She's an inspiration.

it's that time of year

For me, the holiday season brings an internal shift that feels comforting and whole. Perhaps it's the excitement of getting to see family and loved ones that I only see a few times a year; maybe it's the cooler weather accompanied by hot cocoa and sweet baked goods; it could be the holiday music with it's familiar tune; or the general spirit of giving. Yes, it's probably all these things combined.

I understand that for many, the holidays can be a time of contention, with endless shopping lists, to do's, necessary engagements, etc. etc. But, while not always possible for everyone, this is why I have made it a point to keep this time of year simple.

Some may perceive my lack of Christmas decorations as Scrooge-like...my neglect to buy a tree blasphemy. And the passionate shoppers may not understand how I can avoid going to a mall at all this Christmas season.

But those aren't the things that bring me joy.

I find peace in sitting by the fire at my dad's house and reading a good book, or making cookies with my cousins and aunts (a family tradition...which ultimately involves hysterical laughter at some rather riské creations). I'm looking forward to the puffy white of the midwest winters, that gift of snow which graces the trees and smooths the lake for cross country skiing. There's something soothing about the slow and steady accumulation of small gifts that include mostly hand-made, local products from the farmer's market becuase while I buy my gifts, I know that money will make another's Christmas a little brighter. And I take pleasure in tiny creations, like these Christmas cards that may have flaws, but are made with care.
I'll admit, it's easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the season. But each year I become better at finding calm in the present (moment not gift), being focused on family more than things, and being at peace with what I have accomplished this year- great or small.

Totally Addicted....

I am completely and utterly addicted to this thing called the blog. If you are reading this, you may be able to sympathize. Now, instead of checking my e-mail incessantly, I check my Blogger dashboard to see what all of you are writing out there. I'll compare it to a sugar craving (it's something I can understand because I have never done drugs). You get that itch that you need to satisfy. But once you succumb and indulge, all you want is more, more, more. I guess that is a testament to all of you! You must be writing some juicy stuff. Or perhaps, it's not so juicy, but it's just the sweet stuff of life that we all can relate too. It's a small way of feeling a part of something--a part of this world.

On a different note, I came across this website Ted.com on a blog I follow, Poketo. Ted is a library of videos of speeches and presentations from brilliant people. There is a lot of good stuff here, but this particular one caught my eye today.



I found it to be enlightening and not all about doom and gloom. It's more of a history lesson. I do wish he would have had more time to talk a little more about solutions though. This ending was a little disappointing. Also, please try to get past the comb-over. :)

And Sweva and Granny J- I see a lot of connections to the Panarchy theory and possibly the Christaller Theorum. I swear, Sweva, one day soon I will get back to you on that.

Hope : Optimism : Promise : Possibility : Dream

I believe that hope is what moves us to create, to laugh, to embrace, to sing, and to love. Without hope, what motivation is there for life? Hope is at the foundation of everyone's soul, yet it is sometimes masked by fear, greed, envy or ego. Although it is sometimes easy to get caught up in the emotions of fear or the insatiable desire that is greed, there is clear evidence that hope can overpower. The people that embrace hope, encourage peace, spread love--these are the people that we remember and love. These people offer us better lives and bring about true fulfillment. These are the heroes.

I'd like to share with you a few purveyors of hope:

• Artists across Philadelphia are offering hope to the masses with beautiful murals throughout the city. Philly's Mural Arts Program has been ongoing for 25 years. They have painted hundreds of murals that reflect the city's "history, culture, and vision." These murals have the power to engage the community, deter blight, beautify, demonstrate civic pride, and have even been shown to reduce crime. Truly inspiring.
  

Bridging the Diaspora, © 2008 City of Philadelphia Mural Arts Program / Willis Humphrey, 5741 Woodland Avenue, Sponsored by the City of Philadelphia Department of Behavioral Health, Photo by Jack Ramsdale

Holding Grandmother's Quilt, © 2004 City of Philadelphia Mural Arts Program / Donald Gensler, 3912 and 3932 Aspen Street, Photo by Jack Ramsdale

• These fabulous Poketo wallets are the work of student and artist teams in which students created short stories and well-known LA artists depicted these stories through art. 826 LA, the non-profit that works with children to improve their creative writing skills, is proof that good things are happening all over this world. I'm trying to decide which wallet I should get. What do you think?

• I don't want this to become a political statement, but one of my modern day heroes that is dedicated to inspiring hope is presidential hopeful Barack Obama. His book, The Audacity of Hope says it all. And here's a quote from him to end this post.
  

Hope is what led a band of colonists to rise up against an empire; what led the greatest of generations to free a continent and heal a nation; what led young women and young men to sit at lunch counters and brave fire hoses and march through Selma and Montgomery for freedom's cause. Hope is what led me here today--with a father from Kenya, a mother from Kansas; and a story that could only happen in the United States of America. Hope is the bedrock of this nation; the belief that our destiny will not be written for us, but by us; by all those men and women who are not content to settle for the world as it is; who have courage to remake the world as it should be.

Barack Obama, speech, Jan. 3, 2008

Hope

Hope is both the earliest and the most indispensable virtue inherent in the state of being alive. If life is to be sustained hope must remain, even where confidence is wounded, trust impaired. ~Erik Erikson

I promised I would follow up my last politically incorrect and quite cynical post with something much more upbeat - a message of hope. This whole weekend, while spending time with a person I very much love, I have seen reasons to have hope all around. But hope is most important in troubling times --this is important to remember and often hard to act upon. It's 1 am and I must be getting to bed, but I thought that I would make this an ongoing post. I'll leave you with a few thoughts tonight and then keep up the hopeful attitude on this blog for at least this week ("hopefully" much longer). So, here are a few things that give me hope:

• Thousands of people are offering small loans to poor people in need all over the world and not expecting anything in return-not even interest. These are called micro-loans and it allows ordinary people to pool money in an effort to give others a leg up. My favorite micro-loan organization is Kiva.
  
• A wonderfully delicious and perfectly ripe pear. This particular organic pear I ate yesterday and it was simply the best I have ever had. It filled the room with a sweet pear aroma for a few days before I ate it, too.
• Tohono Chul in Tucson had their annual plant sale today. There were so many people buying native plants for their gardens. Imagine what the world would be like if everyone cared for a small patch of land, turning it into a haven for wildlife, a respite for the mind, and an acknowledgment of regional beauty.
• Our campus has joined forces with the city of Tucson to hold a farmer's market every Friday on University Avenue. While there are only a few booths that sell produce, the turn out seems to be high, and I hope that more vendors will come. A man was selling tomatoes a few weeks ago and I have to say they were the best I have EVER had. I know, I said that about the pear too. It's been a good month!

Stay tuned for more...it's time for bed!

Fear

Fears, real or perceived, are crippling our society. Good people are out there, I know many of them. But it seems that these days we are fed a never ending stream of terrifying problems and despicable acts. And what happens? We all know. Good people fail to act; good deeds are left undone; we end up fearing our neighbors; we end up fearing strangers; we end up fearing fear itself. Just in case you need help, I have created a list of possible things you might want to fear or may already fear (disclaimer: there is a twist of sarcasm here). I want you to be prepared in case the Boogyman comes.

• God forbid you go for a walk, someone might jump out of the bushes and attack. Oh, and there's no air-conditioning out there!
• I'm afraid to have the windows open. I might sweat.
  
• Talking to your enemies means that you are justifying their opinions. I repeat. Never ever talk to your enemies unless they have told you beforehand that they will agree with you!
  
• Wanting everyone to have access to healthcare just might mean you are a socialist, and we must fear socialists. Be careful. Those socialists also want people to have better options for education. Educating people might mean that they aren't fearful anymore!
  
• No kidding, there is a very real threat of riding your bike these days. Seems as though the silly cars just don't want to stop for anyone.
• I need five assault weapons in my home for fear that someone might harm me.
  
• I also need five cars to run over all those people on bikes ---bikes scare me.
• Tarantulas are lurking in dark places.
• Insects, especially bees, just want to attack me. That's all they care about is attacking me! I'll just have to spray them with every harmful chemical on earth to rid it of those pesky bees. What good are they anyway?
  
• Mexican people are trying to take all our jobs. I was hoping I could work for $20 a day in the hot-ass Arizona sun, and now I can't.
• Global warming is a real threat, but I'm not going to do anything about it just yet. I want to wait until things get really ugly. Then we'll have a lot more things to be terrified about.
• Every person that looks different than me must be evil. If your religion is not the same as mine, you are probably a terrorist. Especially if you are in an airport, then you must be a terrorist.
• Tap water is highly toxic, I would rather drink from plastic bottles with water that costs $6 a gallon. It's much better becuase it comes from half way around the world and will give me a healthy daily dose of bisphenol A. (I had a hard time pronouncing that so it must be good for me.)
• Clowns with painted smiles are very scarey. They make me want to run and hide under the covers.
  

To counter this ever pervasive thing called fear, I will be following up with a post on HOPE. Drum roll please.....

Will the good people please stand up?

I know there are a lot of really good people in this world, but sometimes I am amazed at the way people treat each other. As a bicyclist, moving at a slightly slower pace than the rest of the car world, I often witness both good and evil deeds on my ride. Unfortunately, I seem to witness more evil than good.

For instance, on my ride home today a man just in front of me was trying to cross the 3 southbound lanes of traffic on Campbell Ave. I cross this street nearly every day, and let me tell you, it can be challenging around rush hour. A good deed was committed and a driver stopped for this gentleman. As he inched into the street to see if others would stop, the cars just kept whizzing by. There was a clearing, and he made it across another lane. To his dismay, two more cars were coming in the third lane, both of which had plenty of time to stop for him. The first, slowed and maneuvered around him just close enough to make sure he had to get out of the way.

But the second driver made the first look kind. The second car looked him straight in the eye and just kept driving at him, forcing the man to jump out of the way. I wanted to shout all sorts of things, but instead thought to myself, is this the kind of decency we have decided to show other human beings? Is this how we want the world to be, where seconds are so important that we can't slow down or stop and give a fellow human being a chance at crossing the road, maybe even offer him a smile?

It's things like this that really get me to my core, but today I'm going to try to look at it in a different light. Instead, I will take it as a lesson and a reminder to be kind to others and bring my piece of humanity back to this world. I hope tomorrow I can do the same.

My parents rock!

My parents are the best that any daughter could ask for. In fact, they are both pretty awesome people all around. Case in point....tonight my dad and I are out for a nice moonlight stroll around the lake. On our way back, we see this guy sitting by a motorcycle and my dad asks how he is doing. He tells us that he ran out of gas and so in that regard, he's not so great. But my dad just happens to have a few gallons of gas in the garage...he goes to get it and when the guy offers to pay for it, my dad declines, several times. How awesome is that? I bet he made his night...or at least made it better.

And my mom...she's pretty darn awesome too. In addition to putting Ryan and I first in almost every possible way, she's also very giving to other people. One time, she was making her way through the Burger King Drive through and noticed a homeless lady in a parking lot. She all but chased the lady down to give he some money...$50...after talking to her, my mom new that this was someone who would probably choose to continue to be homeless, but still offered her help anyway. She even tried to pry a little to see if she could use her mad recruiting skills to find her a job.

Two pretty selfless people. I love them and have a lot to learn from them!

Acupuncture

The world would be a lot nicer if everyone did acupuncture. Especially that guy who tried to run me over today. He was not in a good place... On the other hand, I feel great!

Cycles

If there is one very important thing I have learned about life lately, it is this...

Life is made up of cycles...they are continuous and move from birth, to periods of innovation and learning, to building wealth, and finally death or destruction. With death, however, comes rebirth again. This can be applied to natural cycles, but it also applies to socio-political cycles.

At the risk of sounding like a Doomsday-er...this makes me think about the situation of our country...we are in a period of wealth accumulation. We have been for many years. With wealth often comes corruption, and this is when the risk of destruction occurs. I'm not sure whether it is inevitable or whether destruction can only be prolonged. One thing I do know, is that without some sort of sacrifice, especially from those with the most wealth, things cannot continue at a stasis. Greed is bound to cause problems...for whom and at what scale, I cannot say. There will be difficult times for many I am sure, and then the rebirth will occur.

If you take it to a larger scale, there's global warming. Minimizing it's impact can only occur from sacrifice. To think that we can solve our problems through technology is absurd. Technology solves one problem by creating another.

O.k. few...I feel better...